How My Mother's Day Led Me To Turning Tricks

For special occasions, my husband always cooks up some super delicious (expensive, items not on sale) meals. So today, the expectation was to be no different. On the menu, we had Filet topped with Goat Cheese, served with a Red Wine Reduction. Our sides were Corn on the Cobb - Garlic, Rosemary & Basil Mashed Potatoes - Garlic & Rosemary Artisan Bread. All with a nice glass of Ghost Pines red. How did it turn out?...

...My response once I finally came up for air...and I quote "I think I'm going to start hooking on the weekends just so I can make extra money so you can make this for me every week."

My Son Recognizes That I AM Wonder Woman

BJ has some fighting game (like Street Fighter-ish style) on his iPad. You get 3 characters to alternate through as you play. LJ saw the Wonder Woman character, pointed at her and said "Mommy!". I need not say more.

LJ - The Mac & Cheese Monster

What kid doesn't like hot dogs?!? Apparently MY kid doesn't like hot dogs. My kid only wants to eat Mac & Cheese...all.day.long. And goldfish crackers.

So here's the story of last night's dinner debacle:

I make LJ a hotdog (Ballpark, so you know, a REAL hot dog). I realize that I don't think I've ever fed him a hot dog, but he likes corn dogs, so I anticipated that he would thoroughly enjoy this. I give it to him on a bun with ketchup, feeling like a cool mom when really I'm just trying to feed him something other than Mac & Cheese...again. LJ says his favorite words, "No. Nope." I manage to trick him into taking a bite (more like I shoved a piece into his mouth). 

He chews for a moment and spits it out. So I tell him it's the hot dog or nothing. He chose nothing. Eventually, I have a brilliant idea. I'll make him Mac & Cheese with cut up hot dogs in it. I win...he wins. Okay, he wins more, but I'm willing to compromise because it's Wednesday and I've got mid-week-tired-mommy-syndrome. So I give him his new dinner. He takes a bite, chews and swallows the macaroni and then spits out the hot dog. This little bastard! So I take away his food and tell him "If you don't eat ALL of it, then you get nothing." I wait it out about 5 minutes (cause seriously, this kid has no concept of time) and try again.

Fast forward about 30 minutes after a lot of unsuccessful coaxing, defiant toddler crying, one time out, and a finishing moment where LJ strips off his underoos and sits in his wagon (completely naked) and just stares at me. I think to myself, "Maybe if I give it to him, he'll come to his senses and just eat the damn hot dogs inside. Maybe he just wants to be a big boy and do this on his own accord." 

So I give him the Mac & Cheese cup.

Less than 10 minutes later and his cup is completely empty. I did it!! I AM awesome! LJ did it! He is awesome!

No. Nope.

As I'm cleaning up toys around his wagon, this is what I find...

Clever little bastard. Well played Kid, well played.

Mommy- The Blogger

I am a good Woman. I am a great Wife. On most days, I’m a pretty good Mom. I am very successful in my career. My household is always organized, clean, and well functioning. (Okay, maybe not always…but yes, nearly every day of the week. Okay, maybe not nearly every day of the week…but yes, at least a few days of the week. Alright, alright! Maybe not even a few days of the week…but, oh forget it…at least we haven’t burnt our house down yet.)

I know that I’m not the first woman in the world to juggle all of the day-to-day things that I do. But here’s the deal. This is the first time in my life that I’ve juggled all of the day-to-day things that I do. They came in pieces, one at a time. It seems like a really long time ago since I had only myself and my career to think about. Then came BJ (the husband), then the boy pup, then LJ (the kid), then the house, and then the girl pup. I rather enjoy my life. No, that’s a lie. I absolutely LOVE my life. I wouldn’t trade it in for anything. Not even what others might consider a better life. Nope, I’m keeping what I’ve got. That being said, I feel like I am a.l.w.a.y.s tired. Again, I’m not the first woman to feel this way. And I only have one kid! I still don’t understand how moms handle multiples and I’m in no hurry to find out. (Eventually…but not for a while longer.) Without sounding too big on myself, I have a pretty good “mom instinct”. But as a parent…I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing half the time. But I suppose that’s what Google is for...

Here’s another newsflash. I’m not the first woman or mom (or a combo of the two) to write a blog. Shocking…I know! But one day I’m going to look back and wish I’d better documented this grand adventure of being a grownup – in words. (Cause anyone that knows me knows that I’ve definitely got my life documented in pictures.) And I’m talking about “words”, not just Facebook updates. Kind of like my Dear Diary, P.S. I’m a Mom. Where my day to day antics involve bribery with a child and nagging…a lot of nagging.

Technically, I became a blogger last year – in my head. So while my blog fan-base is an extremely limited audience of one, I can assure you that my audience finds my imaginary posts insightful, amusing, and entertaining. And while that’s been good enough for me up until this point, today I unleash my insight, comedy, and entertainment into the wild. So without further adieu…I give you my first post…